February 05, 2007

An honest question about the poop

The question is: how does it do that? How does poo, heading south from my baby's bumhole, end up so far north, out of the diaper, well nigh reaching his infant armpits? HOW????? Does it somehow ricochet off the soft surface of his diaper? Does it have special thermodynamic properties due to its milk-only compostion? Does it plan its exit strategy before departure, knowing better than our president that you have to maximize the force of your attack? Or, reversing that awkward martial metaphor, is the poo more like (say) the aptly-named shiite insurgents, who realize that a decentralized eruption is the most efficient mode of resistance?

Anyway, it's messy over here this afternoon. Don't come over unless you're willing to help with the laundry.


I was just talking with B, who might have his own thoughts to add here, but he brought up another poo dynamic which baffles us: the most mysterious poops of all: the poops which leave the bumhole and then miss the bumcheeks entirely and then land squarely on le bebe's back. I think these poops must fly.

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